May, 11 2016

by Gary Rudoren

The United States of America and Israel are currently looking for a qualified professional to fill the job opening of “President of the United States” in January 2017. Qualified candidates should submit resumes highlighting their experience and thoughts on the U.S.-Israel relationship as well as examples from their past and sober (or outrageous) declarations on the future.

Housing to be provided for a minimum of 4 years with a possible extension to 8 depending upon the mood of the electorate. Salary non-negotiable. Security will be provided.

Final decisions to be made by November 2016 (hopefully).

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